Two years ago, I had a conversation with my roommate about "HSP" or Highly Sensitive People. I received one of the highest scores possible after taking the official HSP online quiz. This led my roommate to ask if I had ever considered that I might be autistic. I admitted that I had, but the idea of having autism made me want to retreat into a corner. I had grown up believing that autism meant being dysfunctional, unable to speak, communicate, or succeed in life. Many of these beliefs stemmed from being in elementary school with an autistic boy who exhibited these traits.
As I delved into autism research, I started noticing more and more things that eerily reminded me of myself. I began to have an identity crisis as thoughts of "my whole life is a lie" started to creep in. Furthermore, I realized that everyone in my life, including myself, had a deeply distorted understanding of what autism truly was. Upon further investigation, I discovered that autism in women is under-researched, and girls with autism often go unnoticed. This was news to me. As I connected the dots, I finally came to the realization at the end of my second year at college that I was likely autistic and had no idea, as my family had always dismissed my traits as either "things everyone does" or "things I do because I'm gifted," without knowing that autism is genetic and a large percentage of autistic children are also gifted.
I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can help anyone who is going through the same identity crisis I faced two years ago. I plan to continue posting more about autism in the future.
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